I want something new.

I don't want to stay stuck here in my house anymore,

I want to go out and have friends and have fun

I don't want to obsess how people, friends see me

I want to feel loved, truly by someone who understands me,

I need to break out of this cycle, of falling in love and staying with them till I find someone new, better.

I feel trapped, I know I deserve someone who isn't paranoid about what I'm doing, who I'm seeing, but I cannot physically escape. I always need someone to help me. Why can't I help myself for once?

And the sad thing is, I can't even be honest about everything on here. Theres so much I want to write, but I cant do it, I'm too scared someone I know will read it, and laugh as if I'm a joke to them, even though they'll probably apart rip my life in a matter of seconds, Its happened too many times before.

My Blog

This is basically a blog to let out my inner thoughts and frustrations, I'm not trying to get lots of views and friends, if no-one reads this, I really wouldn't care, if people do, then thats fine too.

I simply want to write about my life and have something to look back on and see how things change.

This blog comes about after realizing that I cannot express my anger and feelings out to anyone but my absolute best friend, there are so many things I have wanted to say to people, my boyfriend, my ex-best friend (they cheated) and my family, but I can never find the words to say. So much has happened since there betrayal, and I've cheated on him too, yet for some reason I still can't move on, and the hurt is still inside me, cutting me up and making me horrendously jealous of everything he does and I don't know whether its worth changing anything, I don't want to lose someone whose been mine for almost two years.