I want something new.

I don't want to stay stuck here in my house anymore,

I want to go out and have friends and have fun

I don't want to obsess how people, friends see me

I want to feel loved, truly by someone who understands me,

I need to break out of this cycle, of falling in love and staying with them till I find someone new, better.

I feel trapped, I know I deserve someone who isn't paranoid about what I'm doing, who I'm seeing, but I cannot physically escape. I always need someone to help me. Why can't I help myself for once?

And the sad thing is, I can't even be honest about everything on here. Theres so much I want to write, but I cant do it, I'm too scared someone I know will read it, and laugh as if I'm a joke to them, even though they'll probably apart rip my life in a matter of seconds, Its happened too many times before.